This being a feminism site, and this being International Women's Day, we spend a
lot of time talking about ladies. That's cool. Women are awesome.
But every once in a while it's important to take a beat, and
recognize the men who support their kickass partners.
So, without further ado, and in no
particular order, here are the men.
I've sung his
wife's praises a couple of times, and I stand by that. But none of
Zoe's awesomeness would be nearly as impressive if her husband
weren't the perennially supportive, loving, respectful, and Hawaiian
shirt clad Wash. Reasons we love their marriage? It's built on
mutual respect. Sure, Zoe wears the pants and holds the gun, but
when Wash raises real misgivings about something, she listens.
They're both each other's favorite person, and they both greatly
appreciate what the other can do. Zoe can fight really well, but
Wash is equally skilled (arguably more so) at flying the ship. And
they both understand that they can't do each other's jobs. That's
why they need each other. Wash is great guy, but it's his marriage
to Zoe that makes them both better. Plus, who doesn't love a
marriage that still manages to be this passionate after six years?
Michael (Nikita, all versions)
The important thing to remember about
Michael is that, lovers or enemies, he's always, always,
respected Nikita. He's pretty much the only one who does. Currently
played with firey intensity by Shane West (yup, that one), his
relationship with her is rocky at the best of times, and never really
characterized by mutual trust, but they have an undeniable chemistry
built on the character's mutual respect. Michael's a lot of things.
A widower, a spy, a killer, but he's also a man who's very much in
love with a dangerous woman. He knows exactly how much that should
worry him, and for that, we salute him.
Xander (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
For a
guy who always hung out with girls, was a self-proclaimed loser, and
spent all of high school getting beat up by vampires then his early
twenties working at places like "Hot Dog on a Stick",
Xander did pretty well for himself with the ladies. First Cordelia,
then Anya, Xander was good at getting women who didn't need him to
fawn all over them to make them feel better. No, his girlfriends
were the women who knew exactly who they were and how much they were
worth. They loved him because so did he. It's a different kind of
masculinity and strength, to be able to abide in yourself and be
strong enough to admit to some androgynous qualities. Xander was a
nurturer, and he always brought out the best in those he loved. For
this, he was my first television crush, and he's definitely one of
the good 'uns.
Rory (Doctor Who)
It's been said a few times that if Rory
and Amy were reversed, if Amy's character were a man, and Rory's
character were a woman, people would decry their relationship as
unhealthy and unreasonable. Well, I don't actually think that, but I
do think that I'd like it way, way less. I also think that this kind
of gender-reversal argument doesn't actually help anything. Yes,
Rory and Amy have a slightly disproportionate relationship. She is
the adventurous one, the exciting one, the one always dashing off
with the Doctor to have glorious amazing adventures. She flirts.
She's not sure of their relationship and sometimes she strays
perilously close to cheating on him. But Rory loves her. He follows
her, goes where the action is because that's where Amy is. And for a
character that some have called out as weak, he does an awful lot of
rescuing, not just of Amy, but of the world. Rory makes the biggest
sacrifice he can, when he chooses to stay and protect Amy, knowing
she won't remember it, knowing that he will be alone for literally
thousands of years, and knowing that it may all be in vain. If Rory
were a woman, I'd still be damn impressed. Because that is not
passive longing or being a doormat. That's pure, unconditional love.
Rock the fuck on Rory. Congratulations on your marriage, because
you deserve a hell of a party.
Marcus (Inglourious Basterds)
You probably don't know who I'm
referring to, so I'll be a little less specific. Remember Shosanna?
Remember her boyfriend, the projectionist? That guy. So, fair, his
entry is a little less detailed than the others, but I still give him
props. One, he's living in a horrible place, and has chosen to stay
and stick it out with his lady love, even though both of them are in
danger from the occupying Nazis. He's supportive too, enough so that
he's willing to go with Shosanna in her quest to burn down the
theater with them inside, and in so doing destroy the Third Reich.
He respects her, and he follows her lead. She's strong, and she
knows what she has to do. Go them.
Shang (Mulan)
Admit it, you now have "Make a Man
Out of You" stuck in your head, don't you? You're welcome.
Sure, when Shang first finds out that
Mulan has girly bits, he's less than thrilled (though he also seems a
little relieved), and he's horrified to find that he's been training
a woman all this time. But when the Huns return, and Mulan is the
only one who can save them, not to mention the only one still capable
of acting rationally, Shang sees sense. He realizes that the
qualities that made him like Mulan before haven't disappeared, and
that he was being a poop for judging her based on her gender. At the
end of the film, he finds her and proposes. And she accepts, because
he respects her, and understands that he needs to come to her on her
ground.
There are others, of course. Admiral
Adama on Battlestar Galactica.
Clive Owen's character in Duplicity.
Peeta in Hunger Games.
But the point is made here. No matter what the media, we need more
of these guys. Just like we need more women who're well-rounded and
capable of taking care of themselves and others, we need more men who
respect that and are capable of picking up the other side of the
banner and carrying it with us. Equality is a two way street and
masculinity is an ever shifting goal. Let's shift it in this
direction.
![]() |
Ideally without a Cylon takeover, but whatever. |
Love this post. =] And Rory has became quite badass. Rock on, Ponds.
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